Beautiful things

I have a deep appreciation for old and beautiful things. I love antiques, old architecture, old books among other things. My most recent interest is old cemeteries. I have been driving past this Quaker Friends Meeting House for the past two years on my way to work. It is just so beautiful especially in the fall when the leaves adorn the parking lot and set it on fire. Ahhh! There is nothing more beautiful. I didn't notice until recently that there is a cememtery behind the meeting house. I have been staring at it, trying to get glimpses of it as I drive by, almost ramming the car in front of me. Then, I thought, I should really stop and walk through the cemetery. Would that be okay? Would anyone run out there and tell me to get off their property? I decided to try it anyway. So, this week I finally parked my car under a tree and walked the few feet to the most beautiful cemetery I've ever visited.

The rounded stones were bone white, some with unreadable words etched into them. Strangely in the 1800's they printed the words on the rounded top of the stone. Others were in your typical style, printed on the face of the tombstone. The ones that I was able to read fascinated me. They actually printed their age on them, in case you couldn't do the math. (Age 77)

I saw families buried together, one in which the daughter died before the parents at age 35. How sad, I thought. How very, very sad. I wondered how she died. Was it unexpected or after a long illness? But, isn't it always unexpected when the child dies before the parents? How did the parents go on?

Although we know that people lived, loved, worked and died just as we do and will, it still is amazing to me in my self aborbed little life, that people experienced life as we do. That something existed before me. That people experienced death, loss and tragedies as we have. That life is truly short, sometimes shorter than you expect.

I savored the peaceful quite of the cemetery. No one approached me and there didn't seem to be anyone around. So, perhaps I will make another visit there someday to the serenity of a church graveyard on the way to work.

I'm not worthy

My husband's best friend and wife visited this weekend. I was excited to take my mind off my own preoccupations and prepare for some fun. I made a lasagna that took me much longer than anticipated to cook. I hadn't made it in 6 years or so and I had to find a recipe and shop for the ingredients after work. We ate around 9pm. I hate eating that late! Well, it turned out really good - much better than I had expected. Everyone enjoyed it.

The next morning I really wanted to make something quick but special for our guests so I made Banana bread (quick bread). I decided as a little treat to add some chocolate chips (of course). Note to self: Do not add chocolate chips to quickbread until it has cooked awhile. They all sunk to the very bottom. I had a plate full of chocolate sludge, none of which absorbed into the bread at all.

That afternoon at 3pm we went to an engagement party, a party of which we were not officially invited. Well, our friends got the e-vite, but we did not. Note to public: E-vites, in my opinion, should be followed up with a phone call esp. for the older generation which does not check e-mail even if they have an account. Anyway, we did not receive an e-vite, but through the communication of a relative with the bethrothed, it was assumed we were just forgotten. Our e-vite did not get lost in cyberspace, we were just forgotten. Hmmmm. . . well, that feels a little depressing. We went anyway to crash the party and no one said a single word about not inviting us or "why the heck are you here?" or "so sorry we didn't send you the e-vite. We just forgot." Nothing.

The rest of the night was spent visiting with people from my husband's family or meeting friends of their family I hadn't yet met. One thing you should know: There is not one car salesman, janitor or legal secretary in the crowd. They are one of four things: A doctor/dentist, an engineer, an accountant or a grad student pursuing one of the three. I am an employee at a school (not a teacher) who holds a bachelor's degree in English. That's it! Everytime I'm around these people, I feel inspired to go back to school. I discussed this with my husband (let's call him "Jack"). The two fields I would be interested in are English or Speech pathology. Problem: English - what am I going to do with that degree? And Speech Pathology would take a full 6 years part time to complete since my undergrad is in another field. Jack says the problem is he thinks I just want to get a degree to get a degree. He's right. It's a pride thing. But, I also want to do it for enrichment and stimulation. I don't know the answer to this dilemna. I want to make the best decision but neither seems right at the moment.

My job

Anyone out there just hate their job? I mean, I shouldn't complain. I should be happy to have one, but it's just not what I expected to do with my life for this long. I work in the school system with children that are just so frickin' frustrating! I can't stand some of them! I know, I know - how mean spirited is that?! Okay, to my credit, I do get along with them on most days. I'm not at their throats all the time. Anyway. . . my point being is that I'm ready for a change. This is obviously not where I fit. So, what did I expect to be in life? An attorney? A doctor? The counter girl at Clinique? Well, no - okay, maybe an attorney. I like how they have to look so professional, wear the short skirts, hair in a bun, high heals, be commanding. But, that was not my dream job, really. My dream job was to be a writer and a mom. I've always wanted to write adolescent literature while my kids napped. Now, I'm not sure how realistic that is, but I remember in college one time that an author came to our class and told us that is exactly how she got started. She wrote a novel during her kids' nap time. I would love that! Now, neither dream has come true, but I've not given up hope. *sigh* One day my thoughts will all come together and I'll be able to quit my job and write full time. Unfortunately, that is not possible at the moment and I'm too exhausted when I get home to do anything but cook dinner and make lunch for the next day. Until then, here I sit. . .blogging.

Let me explain. . .

Literary Chocolate? Why such a title? Well, I chose this title because I LOVE reading,writing and chocolate. Those are my passions - in that order. Literary chocolate is any piece of literature that is just so good that you melt away from reality. You get lost in the movement of words. You might say I have an addiction to literature and chocolate. I can't live without either. A good book can take me out of a bad situation and get me through the day. A piece of chocolate (preferably dark) will cure any ailment, bad mood or mental breakdown. Case in point: After having gotten lost on the way to get my oil changed, ramming my car into a yellow post at Jiffy Lube, and ranting and raving at the mechanics (for no real reason) I came home popped two Hersheys dark chocolates and started this blog. (Yes, I'm hormonal.) Ahhhh. . . I feel better already.